My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
