the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
