Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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