i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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