so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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