We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
