Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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