who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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