we made out on top of his cat.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
