He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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