How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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