I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
