so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
