I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
