Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My ass is underappreciated
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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