I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
