so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
