I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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