You made me cry and you don't even care
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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