Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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