what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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