I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
COCAINE IS GR8
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
