i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
