he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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