; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize