Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize
