i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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