I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
they need to just BURY HIM!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I got inside last night via doggy door
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
