Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
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dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
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I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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