I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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