Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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