is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
