Well douche your snatch and let's go!
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
zippers are such a cool invention
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
