so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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