I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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