2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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