I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
