Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm both gender and math confused
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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