Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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