yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
