he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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