That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
worst night to have a conscience
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
