I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
