omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
