Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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