Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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