I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
