Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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