using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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