Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
