some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
They took my balls.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
