I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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