It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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