just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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