How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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