My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
