I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
