dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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