why didn't you poke me back
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
