Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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