tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
