How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
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If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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