You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
