I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
