Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
