I want to have your abortion
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have tasted many bathrooms
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
