They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
