Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
