don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
