this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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